Close My Eyes
by Chaser-Cya
Summary: A story about Tom Riddle's Mother.


Title: Close my eyes  
  
Author: Chaser  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of its characters, someone with a hell of a lot more money does. Millicent is mine and so is Potato.  
  
Warning: There is a death that had to happen.  
  
Pairings: Tom Riddle's mother and father.  
  
Notes: I hadn't seen anything about Tom Riddle's mother and thought she should have something. Since I don't know his mothers' name, I named her Millicent.  
  
~~I live my days with the nights that we spent, All the love we shared, I put my heart on the side for a while, Knowing you're not there, I tried to carry on, To face the fact you're gone, But I need you,  
  
So I close my eyes ~~~ (Jordan Knight – Close my eyes)  
  
  
  
Walking up the stairs to the attic my chest tightened. I have never been so scared in my entire life. I wasn't even this terrified when I faced my family and told them I was leaving.  
  
  
  
Mother was in the living room entertaining a few guests. Columbine Calligenia was telling the tale of how she had braved a visit to the Muggle world. While the old Mrs. Merenna was again stating her opinions of the people in that world. The lot of them thought so lowly of muggles, which added to my determination. I didn't care what they thought about it, I was leaving, I was going to be with Tom and there was nothing they were going to do about it.  
  
Building up courage I called for my father.  
  
" Father would you please join me in the living room." I called from the opening to the living room.  
  
Father walked in dressed in his best, while my mother and her friend stared at me with puzzled looks.  
  
" What is Millicent?" he asked me.  
  
" I have something I want to tell."  
  
" Can't it wait?" my mother asked. She never liked it when she was interrupted while company was over.  
  
My eyes never left my father's form as he moved to sit next to my mother. I was more concerned with his reaction to what I was about to tell them. I had always feared my father. I was taught that fear was a form of respect, so naturally I feared him most of all.  
  
Taking several deep breaths I began.  
  
" Mother, father I have called you here so that I could inform you both, that I am leaving."  
  
My mother and her friends giggled slightly at my words. " Millicent dear you need not make such a big deal about you going outside, by all means go." My mother mocked me.  
  
" No mother I am not going outside for a walk or to go visit friends. I am leaving. I am moving out of the house."  
  
Mother was still giggling behind her hand when she asked me why.  
  
" Because I feel I need to experience life for myself." I said as boldly as possible as I looked into my fathers hard eyes.  
  
He said nothing as my mother and her friend made their comments about life being nothing more than boring and that I should stay at home until I found myself a good wizard husband.  
  
If they only know I didn't want that. I didn't want to be a common witch wife with an overbearing pompous husband. I didn't want to bear him any children; I didn't want to be my mother. Where her and her friends are more concerned with the neighborhood gossip and who is doing what, than what their children are doing.  
  
My father finally spoke, as I was about to tell my mother and her idiotic friends my thoughts. The few simple words he spoke to me set panic racing up and down my spine.  
  
" Where are you going Millicent?" he asked. I had always despised that name. It sounded more like a strange disease than that of a girl.  
  
Knowing my father hated any form of weakness, I straighten my back and stood perfectly. Raising my head slightly I said, " The Muggle world."  
  
  
  
Needless to say the gasps and near choking that was done as my words were uttered said more than enough.  
  
I can clearly remember the event as it unfolded. My mother began with telling me I could not go. That her daughter would not be living in such a place, that she would die of shame. I can remember my mother telling me that I was not going to bring shame upon our family name. My mother was always one for the hysterics and dramatic emotions that received her pity and attention from others.  
  
I was more like my father. I wasn't one much for words. When father had finally had enough of my mother and her ever so annoying guests, he told her politely to shut up. I never did quite understand how you could tell someone to shut up in a polite fashion but then again there are many things I still don't understand.  
  
That moment in my family's home was extremely dramatic and over dramatized. My mother after another outburst about me living in the muggle world and going to live with a muggle man caused her to faint. A few of her friends followed in her example and lay unconscious on our sofa.  
  
My father was not as fragile as my mother and forbid me to leave. What he told me was that I was never going to do what I said I was and that I was to get the inconceivable notation out of my head.  
  
I must admit now as I look back on that fragment of my life it was quite memorable. Father kept to his words and for several weeks I was not allowed out of the house. I was kept under close watch at all times.  
  
Yet being my fathers' child, I found my way out of that. Placing a well- timed sleeping potion in the house dinner wine one evening, I made my escape. In the depths of the night I escaped the confines of my overbearing and prejudice parents.  
  
For a long time after I left my home life behind I was fearful that one day they would find me and drag me away from the love of my life. The idea of my father showing up at my doorstep and performing the Imperius curse on me left me with many a sleepless nights.  
  
Many years had pasted since then and again I find myself at another cross road in my life. These thoughts of my past clouded my mind as I dusted off my old wooden trunk. It had not seen the light of the day in so many years.  
  
The dust danced in the light as I opened the old wooden trunk. Closing my eyes I inhaled the smell of my past, the scent of who I was.  
  
Neatly on top off all of my things, laid my wand. Picking it up, I twirled in between my fingers. The wood still felt new. It was smooth and oddly refreshing to touch.  
  
'How many years had it been since I last touched you?' I thought. With a flick of my wrist I mimicked long forgotten patterns.  
  
"Keep you arms straight. Hold your head up. Never take your eyes off your opponent. Good wrist movement, You're a natural." The memories of my childhood come back slowly with each movement.  
  
The sounds of my cats' meow snapped me back into the present. Stroking her coat as she rubbed against my legs, I placed my wand back into the trunk. Slowly I closed the trunk.  
  
" Come on Potato, time to go get this over with." I motioned for my brown and red spotted cat to follow as I dragged my trunk behind me.  
  
From the attic I went until I reached the living room. Everything had to be just right. I cleaned up the house then went to shower and change my clothes. Tom would be home soon and nothing was going to go wrong tonight.  
  
I dressed in a simple, light blue spring dress. Dinner was warming in the oven. All that was missing was my beloved.  
  
Potato sat on my lap as we waited. She purred softly with every stroke of my hand. Tom arrived like clockwork at a quarter past the hour. Greeting him warmly I served him dinner and waited until he was settling in for the night. While he listened to the radio program I waited.  
  
I know I was just postponing the inevitable, so I gathered my nerve and called his attention.  
  
He answered me in a loving tone. " Yes Millie, what is it? You look troubled, is there something wrong?"  
  
Inhaling deeply I began. " Tom there is something I need to tell you."  
  
" What is it Millie? You know you can tell me anything." She said as he inched to the edge of our sofa with a deep concerned look in his eyes.  
  
" Well Tom you know how you always said you wanted to start a family?"  
  
" Yes"  
  
" Tom we're going to have a baby."  
  
My beloved's eyes widened and he instantly grabbed my hands, pulling me into a deep embrace.  
  
"Millie that's wonderful!" he exclaimed.  
  
The first of my problems was over. That was the easy part.  
  
After he let me go, I could still see the joy in his eyes. At that moment he seemed like the happiest man in the world.  
  
"Tom dear there is something else I have to tell you." I said as he rambled on about the things that he would do with his son, about the things that he would teach the lad.  
  
" There is something you need to know about me and I fear it might not be as joyous as what I have just told you".  
  
" Millie dear you have made me the happiest man in the world, there is nothing you can say to change that."  
  
" I am glad to hear you say that. Tom you know how I told you that I am from a different part of England. That you could say it was another world."  
  
" Yes dear."  
  
" Well honey I was not lying about that. I do not come from any part of England you know of. Where I am from is a whole other world from this one."  
  
Tom titled his head slightly and looked at me before chuckling. " What are you saying? What are you are one of those aliens creatures, a being from another planet?"  
  
" Of sorts."  
  
"Oh my wife the alien. Millie you really are a strange girl." He joked.  
  
" No Tom, I am serious. Have you never wondered why when were first got together, I had great difficulties with what you called everyday things. Why I did not know how to work the oven or what the post man was for. "  
  
" Yes but it's all because you lived a sheltered life. That's okay Millie. I still love you and our son."  
  
" No Tom I did not live a sheltered life, Tom I'm a witch." I said in frustration. " I am from a part of England closed off to the regular world, a world where witches and wizards run free."  
  
Tom's eyes lost that joyous gleam and took a serious turn. " Millie that is not something you should joke about. People aren't too keen on that kind of talk."  
  
Standing up from the sofa I walk behind it and pulled my trunk into full view. " I am not joking Tom. I am a witch, born and breed and our child will be part wizard or witch depending on the sex. "  
  
Tom still didn't believe me and his demeanor was becoming less friendly and less tolerating. Yet being my fathers' child I could not take someone calling me a liar of sorts. I was going to prove my point even if I knew I should have just dropped the subject.  
  
Flipping the lack I opened the trunk and brought forth my wand. Setting it on the coffee table I pulled out my old robes and hat.  
  
He looked at these items with much skepticism. " This isn't Halloween Millie, what is all this?"  
  
" I know that, that is a silly holiday and quite insulting at that. And this dear is what I would wear if I were home. This is my robe. We don't wear pants and the other assortment of unnecessary garments we wear here. My hat to match my robe and my wand. I have other things of importance in my trunk yet these are the most visual. Besides I am leery about showing you the books I have for I think my father slipped a blinding book in my things. "  
  
" A blinding book?" Tom questioned.  
  
" I book that causes blindness to whom ever should be unlucky enough to read it."  
  
Shaking his head he wiped his brow. " Millicent I understand your need to entertain me but this is going a bit far. You expect me to believe that you are a witch and you come from a community of witches and wizards that from what I can understand has been over looked by everyone?"  
  
" Not over looked, but more as in shielded from the muggle world."  
  
"Muggle world? What is that?"  
  
" Oh sorry dear, that is what my kind calls your kind. I know this is very hard to understand Tom but it's just something I had to let you know about. We are starting a family and our child most likely will have some magic in him. So best you know about it know then find out later when odd things happen when he cries. "  
  
Tom was more than upset with me by now. He wiped his brow clean and thumbed his chin when he looked at the things laid on the coffee table.  
  
" If you're this so called witch then do a magic trick for me. Pull a rabbit out of that hat of yours."  
  
" Why would I pull a rabbit out of my hat? That's a very unlikely place to hide a rabbit." I said confused. " But if you like I can turn this cup into anything you like." I said holding up his drink.  
  
Holding his head, " Whatever you like…a rabbit." Tom said.  
  
With a flick of my wrist and a swipe of my wand I turned the cup in to a small rabbit that was slightly transparent. Putting my hand out in front of him I showed him my work. " I'm a bit rusty and out of practice but you get the idea. True the ministry will be sending me a letter soon about unauthorized used of magic but I think it was well worth it."  
  
Tom was speechless. He refused to touch the once cup now rabbit, I held in front of him. I should have known that my explaining this to him would have caused some problem. However I was overjoyed that he wasn't running screaming or calling the authorities telling them I had lost my mind.  
  
I should have seen the signs as they happened but I was young and rather blindly in love. I should have seen the reaction Tom had when the ministry delivered my warning notice. I didn't notice that he had become distant and cold towards me.  
  
He began with not sleeping in the same bed with me. He would say he was not sleepy yet and had some work me need to finish up. Next was he would not eat my cooking, not that it was very good to begin with. Slowly but surly our relationship declined.  
  
My belly was growing with our unborn child and Tom was becoming more and more distant. I honestly think our relationship died when I asked him if he would come with me to visit my family. I wanted them to see how happy I thought we were.  
  
Secretly wanting to rub the fact of my success and happiness in my family's face.  
  
Unfortunately that never came to pass.  
  
In my seventh month of pregnancy my life feel apart.  
  
It was a beautiful Sunday morning and I was up making breakfast. To my knowledge Tom was still asleep. Little did I know he was awake and packing his things. When I called for him, he came down stair fully dressed.  
  
" Tom do you have to go into work again?" I asked.  
  
" No."  
  
" Then why are you dressed, it's Sunday."  
  
" Millie I can not take this any longer."  
  
" Take what dear?"  
  
" This Millie…everything. Look at you." He said as he pointed at me.  
  
" What is it? Did I do something wrong?" I asked naively.  
  
" Look at yourself Millie. You're a witch, a filthy witch. I can not live like this. Either you have gone mad or I have but I can not do this."  
  
" Filthy…I am not filthy Tom. How can you say such things? I am human just as you are. Just because I am a witch does not make me any less human and clean as you or anyone."  
  
" You're wrong. I am leaving now. I will not be returning."  
  
" But Tom how…what about our child."  
  
He never said another word to me. Not even as I cried for him to stop or when I screamed to him as he walked away from my life.  
  
At that time I thought he would return and what he had said to me was a cruel joke. Many days I would sit on the front steps of our home with Potato on my lap waiting for him to appear, with a smile on his face and an apology on his lips.  
  
Yet those smiles and apologies never came, he never came. As my stomach grew with readiness, so did my sorrows. My tears left streaks on my face that never erased. I spent my last days talking to my cat. Bleeding my woes, my hopes and my dreams to her.  
  
I know now I must have look quite insane to the neighbors yet I did not care.  
  
Luckily when my time came, it was one of the neighbors that helped me. The ordinary muggle woman helped me to the hospital and stayed with me through the birth of my child's.  
  
My baby was breech, which caused from a difficult labor. Never in my life has such great pain lead to such happiness.  
  
Even as I knew my sons father would never return, in my heart I wanted him to know whom his father was. So when he reach proper age he could find his father and could show Tom that he was truly his son. That he was just as normal person as any other.  
  
I named my son after his father so he would never forget. He would always carry his father with him, even if not in person but in spirit.  
  
  
  
Even after my difficult birth, I had to hold my baby. He was a part of me; I made him. Little Tommy was a beautiful baby. He was born with several purple patches, from lack of oxygen or so I was told. He looked a lot like his father with several stray strands of black hair spread across his head. I smiled as I thought about how handsome Little Tommy would grow to be. He gave me a precious smile and yawn as I kissed his head.  
  
I reluctantly gave him back to the muggle nurse to be weighed. Lying back onto the hospital bed I closed my eyes. I began to cry tears of joy as I thought about my boy. He was my little man and I just knew he would be a great man. He was going to make something of himself, I just knew he would. People would be talking about my boy for years to come, I was sure of it.  
  
Unfortunately I never say those days pass. I never saw my little boy grow up, never saw his first steps or words. I never saw my little boy again. For my closed eyes never opened again.  
  
I pray he will forgive me. I hope he will know that I loved him, if only for the few moments I held him in my arms, I loved him. I would have given anything for him and in the end I gave him the only thing I could. I gave him my life for his.  
  
  
  
End… 


End file.
